Once in a 蓝月

好久好久没上来了，

为了许多事在忙碌。 

但愿事情落实后，

一切会渐渐稳定。

在这儿，先来个小预告。

^_^

一股失落感，
尽管预料会有这样的结果，
而也不能做什么。

有点儿什么都不想理。

就这样吧，
继续这样窝着也不错，
什么都不用想，
什么都不须做。

继续沉溺于那不真实，
却反映现实的世界，

然后心微微一震，
回想回忆，
当年，那时。

曾以为遥远的三十，
一眨眼就是。

曾以为这一日，
会大写熟女宣言，
大声宣布单身并不令人厌。

可没想到，
这一天的七天后，
我就要成为别人的家后。

现在的我，
感觉疲惫，
所以没有什么宣言。

然而空气中的一股喜悦，
从家人亲戚朋友那儿传来的喜悦，
也感染着我的思绪，
尽管仍然很累。

除了累，
我真的很好。

如果这都不叫幸福的话，
我也不知道什么才叫幸福了。

没有宣言，
却有小小愿望。

希望身体健康，
知足惜福。

生日快乐。：）

好久没有写部落格了。

最近生活发生了许多事，
感觉疲惫。

2011 的教师节，
感谢你们如此爱我，
就犹如我同样爱你们一样。

你们，
是我继续的理由。

I read with great disappointment Theresa Tan’s (Saturday, 23rd July) report “Late (great) expectations ” as it seemed to me that all fingers are being pointed to the couples, especially the fairer sex, for Singapore’s declining birth rate and delayed parenthood.

What is being reported is only skin deep and does not reflect the real issues involved.

As much as I know that there are people who put off parenthood because they wanted more for themselves and are not ready. They do not represent the population being mentioned in this report.

Let us think about it. A young Singaporean will only complete Junior College at the age of 18 and tertiary education at probably 23. Two more years are to be added if they are required to serve National Service. Will a rational person be thinking of getting married and having babies when you probably cannot even support yourself?

For an average Singaporean who does not have rich parents to pay for their tertiary education, had to take a loan and pay the tertiary education once they graduated. It probably takes around 2 years or more for the loan to be fully paid. Here, we are assuming that he/she found a job immediately upon graduation, which might not be the case. Will you be thinking of getting married and having babies at this stage?

By the time this Singaporean is financially stable enough to take care of someone else, he/she will be in the late twenties. By this time, he/she is probably attached, but not long enough to decide if this person is the one. Should they be applying for a BTO now because by the time they really want to get married, they will be unable to pay for that atrocious COV of the resale market and will have to wait for at least three or more years for balloting, results, building of BTO, getting of keys and renovation of house. Should they take the risk of being slapped by a fine, should their relationship change within these 3 years before getting married?

Here, we are not even taking into consideration those who put so much time into studies and work, and are left single in their late twenties. Their marriage will probably come much later through no fault of theirs in a rat-race society like ours.

Having children can only come after a couple has a roof over their head. They are not waiting for all stars to align, but just want to be more responsible towards another precious life. Will you be thinking of having babies when you are married but living apart because you cannot afford a resale flat, but have no luck or unable to wait for three years for BTO? Not all couples are able to stay with the in-laws, taking into account that most of us are living in a shoe-box.

Having babies is more than just statistics. There are many factors that come into play. Why would anyone put themselves through the agony of IVF if not for the circumstances they are in?

Please do not blame all on the people, before taking a good look at the policies and reality.

I totally do not like the fact that the mood and emotions of my day
is constantly under the effect of a bigger wave
that really at the very root
has nothing to do with me.

Everytime it happens
I wish I have a home of my own.
A home I know where there is love
constant love, understanding and communication.

I am sorry I can't be
that big-hearted to contain whatever shit
you guys decided to embark on
and wouldn't let go.

I am tired of all these.

I just want to
stay peaceful and happy every day.

Yes, maybe weary
and a few complains here and there
but nevertheless happy and with peace.

Why is it so difficult?

Sorry,
but I want out.

Since I can't solve your problems,
and grant you the happiness
that maybe you dont even desire,
I have to fight for my own.

This is it.

This is it.

Negativity

like parasites
slowly eat into your soul
when it is allowed long enough to dwell

You need the strength of your mind
to push it away whenever it comes near

And take time to focus back
to the things in life

that bring you joy
warm your heart
soothe your soul

Take time to understand
what really are important
the journey you should start embarking
for the future you dream of

When you start living your life
and focus on making it better

you will find it is really not that difficult
to live a precious moment
not negate in it

It's been three good years,
since that Valentine's Day, your first bouquet to me,
asking me to give this relationship a chance.

You have been a great friend,
my most intimate soulmate and a generous lover.

What life would be if I never let you in,
I cannot imagine.

I love you.

Thank you for loving me too.

It has been a very bad week.

Hypocrites, talebearers, backstabbers, self-absorbers, self-victimizers;
you name it, I've got it.

Such days somehow cleanse your eyes,
allowing you to see better
false friends, true enemies
and people who really care.

I couldn't have gone through these,
without my ever so supportive fiance and lovely sister.

I have a very bad week,
but I have people who love me.

That is more important.

This week will pass,
I will come out wiser and stronger.

2010 will be ending in two days' time.

I know it sounds cliche,
but time really flies.

2010 has been a year of healing and searching,
filled with plenty of love and more understanding.

There has been turmoils, frustrations and confusions,
but we stayed together and went through it.

I do not know if 2011 will be better,
after all we have gone through and learnt.

But the wisdom we gained and knowledge we attained,
seeds of love we planted and depth of faith that grew,
will see us through.

Come what come may.

We will learn to receive them like the flowing water,
and reflect back in our own tranquil depths,
neither confuse nor frighten by our self-infused fear.

To end 2010 & start 2011,
I hereby present a poem by Mother Teresa.

~~~~~~

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you may win some false friends and true enemies;
succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people may forget tomorrow;
do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, it may never be enough;
give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and your God,
it was never between you and them anyway.


~~~~~~~

Happy New Year to all of you.

May you find peace and happiness in the brand new year.

那天晚上在我家
你说要给我看东西
然后忽然拿出戒指跪下

那种情绪很复杂
我不愿在这种状况下

我一直试图推开
你却不知所措地将我紧拥入怀

那时我忽然很清楚地听到你的心跳声
如此急促，如此焦急

当时我其实已感动
但还是说不可以

你说我要惊喜
但你不会制造惊喜

我说你的方向错了
我比较想要诚意

你总是傻傻的
不会推敲我的心意
但又总是如此尽力
因为你说，我，你最在意

第二次
没想到你又安排在我家里

意想不到的惊喜
在门外可爱的小男孩
带着气球和玫瑰

然后穿得帅帅的你
再次拿出戒指跪下

亲爱的

感谢你
总是用你自己的方式
如此用心地爱着我

我爱你，我愿意

一辈子继续做你最亲密的朋友
最懂你的知己，最快乐的玩伴
最幸福的爱人

执子之手，与子偕老

It's been almost three weeks
since my break started.

The first thing I always do
is to sleep as much as my body desires.

My profession requires me
to wake up at wee hours of the morning,
hence it is a norm to wake up feeling extremely unsatisfied.

Then started the vicious cycle
of sleeping later and waking up late.

Instead of feeling rested,
I felt more weary than before.

My biological clock is disrupted,
and the disruptions start to show on my face.

I started to appreciate having a job to wake up to,
having a purpose every day.

I am still enjoying my break,
which is ending in a few weeks' time.

But this realization of the importance of equilibrium,
makes me cherish my rest and work more.

Equilibrium sometimes requires discipline,
and that is why I am slowly adjusting myself,
to an early bedtime and wake up earlier in the morning.

This equilibrium I am trying to attain in my daily life,
I feel will bring about clarity and peace in my daily thoughts.

If certain things are of such importance to you

It is perhaps necessary
to keep the purpose in mind
constantly

so that its meaning and significance
is not lost
through impulsive actions and thoughtless acts

Something become special and unforgettable
because of the thought, effort and sincerity
not the completion of an act

Think about it

The thought behind every action counts